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"Tell me again why we're doing this, Mush," Race said, eyeing his friend suspiciously.

"Because it's almost Christmas!" Mush darted from store to store, dragging a reluctant Racetrack around the crowded mall. "Blink's bringing Spot later."

"Spot's coming?" Race perked up a little, before realizing how absurd the hope was. If anyone hated shopping more than he did, it was Spot. But Mush seemed to have forgotten that fact, and nodded enthusiastically.

They pushed through a large throng of people standing in front of a bookstore. Mush apologized profusely as he rammed through.

"I'll never understand you, Mush. How can this ever be fun?"

"Oh! This will be perfect for Specs. Do you think he'll like it, Race?" Race sighed as Mush tugged him toward the check-out counter. He made a mental note to lock himself in a closet the next time Mush even vaguely mentioned Christmas shopping.

"YOU BASTARD! I HOPE YOU AND YOUR FUCKING BOYFRIEND DIE!" Race lifted his head and Mush nearly dropped his bags of gifts.

"I told him to keep him quiet," Mush whispered, the color draining out of his face. "He's going to get them both kicked out." Race smirked and stood on his tiptoes, trying to catch a glimpse of Blink and Spot. He saw Spot's path of destruction before Race found the boy himself. Bookshelves teetered dangerously and people scattered as the sounds of protest intensified. Race shook himself free of Mush's hold and went to greet them.

"Hey Blink," Race said, staying out of range of Spot's flailing limbs.

"Do something about your boyfriend, please," Blink hissed, grimacing as Spot punched him solidly in the stomach.

"Spot, what ha--" Race started.

"THIS FUCKING BASTARD AND HIS FAIRY BOYFRIEND DRUGGED ME AND BROUGHT ME TO THIS HELLHOLE, RACE. THAT'S WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED."

"Poor baby," Race mocked.

"Shut the fuck up, asshole." But Spot had calmed down, and Blink carefully released him. Race knelt down by Spot and cocked his head inquisitively. Spot reached up and brought Race's head down to his own and kissed him fiercely. Blink snorted, and Spot flicked him off, still kissing Race. When they broke apart, Mush had joined the group.

"How sweet," he said to Blink. "Well, you two can take care of yourselves. Since neither of you have cars here, you can't leave until we come get you. And don't get any ideas..." He glared at the two of them, but it lost its effect when he broke out into a smile. "And get me a cool present, okay?" With that, he grabbed Blink's arm and walked away excitedly. Race and Spot raised eyebrows at each other, but stood up anyway.

"If you told them about the Benadryl, I will personally saw your balls off with a spoon."

"That's only because you want to hold my balls," Race said.

Spot punched Race in the shoulder, but nearly missed. "You're still drugged out of your mind. Let's go do something until they're done, because I'm not shopping."

They walked out of the store and started weaving through the crowd. "Whoever invented the mall should be shot," Race remarked. Spot nodded.

"Go in here," Spot said, pushing Race into the shop beside them.

"What the--"

"They're coming," Spot hissed. Race peered around the corner and saw Mush and Blink heading their way. He pulled back and hurried through the store, Spot close behind.

Race slowed as he heard Spot laughing. He turned around and saw Spot holding a bra to his chest.

"Of all the stores..." Spot said.

Race looked around and saw that they had entered a Victoria's Secret. The salesclerks watched the two boys curiously. Race looked at Spot. He had an evil grin as he stared back at Race.

"What?" Race asked cautiously.

"I'm buying you one, and you're wearing it."

"I am not."

Spot grabbed one at random and headed to the front counter. He evaded Race's attempts to grab the thing from him.

"I'm buying this," Spot told the cashier. She looked at the lingerie he dropped on the table.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

Spot nodded. Race stood behind him. "No, it's not." Spot turned around.

"If you're jealous, get something for your boyfriend too." He smiled at the cashier and handed her some money. Race looked around. He saw a nearby table, and smiled at the contents. He picked one up and gave it to the cashier.

"Here," he said.

She looked at the object and blushed. "This is for women," she said quietly.

"I know. Don't you think he'll look good in it?" Race turned to Spot. The cashier didn't answer. She rung it up quickly and handed it back. "Have a nice holiday," she said, not making eye contact.

Race handed his bag to Spot. "Merry Christmas."

"It's not Christmas yet, dumbass."

"I know, but you need to try it on. If it doesn't fit, we'll have to get a smaller size."

Spot peered inside the bag. He pulled out the thong, holding it up to his waist. "Very funny, Race."

He walked back to the cashier and calmly asked her where the changing rooms were. She pointed behind her. Spot motioned for Race to follow and entered the changing room. Race sighed and followed.

Spot pulled him into the same room and shut the door behind them both. Then he started unzipping his pants.

"I wasn't being serious, Spot. You don't have to wear it."

"But you have to wear yours, so it's only fair." He motioned to his own purchase as he took off his boxers.

"Spot, please."

"Put it on. You might end up looking something like Mush, but that's not a terrible thing, is it?" Race sighed and opened the bag. He pulled out the sheer shirt and pulled off his own shirt. As he replaced it with the very tight lingerie, Spot yelped. He turned around and saw Spot wincing in pain.

"Why would anyone wear something like this?" He pulled the thong off and stood there, glaring at the offending fabric. Race smirked.

"I thought it looked sexy."

"Sexy, my ass. You are sexy. This," he motioned to the thong, "is not sexy."

"I'm sexy?" Race asked.

"That was the Benadryl talking."

"Sure." Race looked down at his new shirt. "I think I need boobs for this to work."

"Maybe." Spot stepped forward and pressed himself against Race. He kissed him. Race wrapped his arms around Spot's waist and pulled him closer. Spot pushed Race against the wall. They slowly broke apart.

"Now if I could wake up to that on Christmas morning, I would be happy," Spot said.

"Put your pants on."

"Merry Christmas to you too."